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P took me food shopping today. I had 45 unbanked pounds.

Long chat before we left, about the topic of my last post

As I thought, she's not amused. I've a feeling she's going to phone him.

Anyway, went via Starbucks as we were both a bit wound up chatting about it. One chai latte, 2 fags and a big stodgy cinnamon twirly thing later ... I felt rather better

Got loads of bargains (woohoo!) and my treat was stripy socks (£1)

Loaded the car and went back in for a coffee. Text from my other friend P.

Ollie the Collie is due to have pups again, can I dog-sit when she's at work next week? ... oh yes I think I can manage that ... p'raps not at 9.30am though

She has wireless

You were born on a Monday and Gabriel is the ArchAngel assigned to the day of your birth.

Born: Monday
Presiding ArchAngel: Gabriel
Assignation: Annunciation
Daily Affirmation: "Today I will embrace all that comes into my life and raise the spirits of others."

Celestial Title: Angel of Mercy

Archangel Gabriel is the presence of God. He speaks without saying a word and the news that he bears is significant. He is an alchemist from heaven turning a starved moment into a hearty feast. He announces the coming of goodness and fortune. When a phone rings with news of support after countless months of no response, it is Gabriel that dials the phone and speaks through the party on the other end. He is delivering God's gift and he is relentless in his efforts to do so. He is incredibly purposeful but equally as reserved in a very majestic and powerful sort of way. In that bright moment our energy body is heightened and that which appears hopeful is cloaked in a knowingness. Then in celebration he wraps his magnificent wings around you and you lovingly melt into the significance of God`s glory and just be.

In a moment with Gabriel we remember what our purpose is and how to go about staying on task. Call to Gabriel if you have a tendency to forget. Listen to him by acknowledging the wisdom of your own intuition. His silent presence will speak volumes and you will smile for a long while as you and he become one in raising the spirits of others.

Associations & Assignments

Like any entity charged with duties and responsibilities, Archangels have certain associations of creation that are engraved in the very fibres of their etheric being. They are handed specifics to govern. Its these assignments that bring them into this dimension where they can participate with us.

Celestial Order: Seraphim
Day: Watches over those born on Monday
Chakra: Sacral (2nd)
Colour: Peach
Planetary assignment: Governs the Sun & the Moon but spends a lot of time on Earth
Main Issue: Emotional balance
Sense: Taste
Fragrances/Incense/Oils: Jasmine, Rose, Sandalwood
Crystals: Citrine, Carnelian, Golden topaz
Life Lesson: Challenging motivations based on social conditioning
Altar suggestions: Peach candle, for sweetness; heart-shaped mirror to reflect back love to the Self; peach-covered personal notebook; an pinky peach starfish (ornament); an Amber ring (or necklace; a golden Topaz; Jasmine perfume; piece of ivory peach silk and of course... a Prayer Chest.

Here's the LINKY cos I forgot

Access reduced to every second weekend.

I've only just signed a statement saying access arrangements wouldn't be changing in the near future.

Hmmm.

AGAIN

I had such a nice day yesterday. It was sunny, but I think the main thing was that I'd slept without pain. The doc had told me to double the painkillers at night as well as taking the valium. I'd still woken quite a few times but I think that was down to habit and will stop when I have a few nights without pain.

I'd got a few things done in the house and when the boy came back from school he was in a good mood. I was even quite calm when he asked if Maxi could stay overnight. I'd already decided I would move the lappie etc upstairs for Friday night telly and yapping with Andy on skype, so it all fitted quite nicely. Mini wasn't alone and I didn't have to battle for the telly.

Also, a post I'd read on here had cheered me since I first came online. It cheered me so much I chatted to the boy about it as he came to the shops with me. He helped me with the shopping! He also pumped my bike tyres!

A very rare, very happy day indeed

I'm still feeling quite good although the pain was back this morning.

I'd heard Mini phoning his Dad to ask to be picked up a bit later so he could hang out with his pal for longer. *eep* This meant I'd either have to pick my way through their mess in the living room or lay in bed for longer till I couldn't anymore. I chose the latter. Bad move. It meant the pills weren't taken in time and I wasn't moving my back when I should have.

I came downstairs just as ex arrived and discovered another child in the living room who I'd never met before. I don't like meeting his pals when I'm wearing nightie and dressing gown

Flashed my new nightie to ex (Zippy from Rainbow) ... Mini explained to the new friend that I did actually have something on under my dressing gown, I wasn't flashing my boobs to ex

Anyway, they've all gone now and I'm left with the mess, but I don't mind. I get more done in the house at the weekend - I don't know why cos Mini's at school all week during the day! State of mind?

I nicked this from Purple Dragon

The rules are go into Wikipedia and type in just your day and month of your birth, then choose four events, three births, two deaths, and one holiday...

EVENTS

* 1099 - First Crusade: Godfrey of Bouillon is elected the first Defender of the Holy Sepulchre of The Kingdom of Jerusalem.

* 1968 - Sir John Newsome recommends public schools should take 50% of their intake from the state school system

* 2003 - Members of 101st Airborne of the United States, aided by Special Forces, attack a compound in Iraq, killing Saddam Hussein's sons Uday and Qusay, along with Mustapha Hussein, Qusay's 14-year old son, and a bodyguard.

* 2005 - Jean Charles de Menezes is killed by police as the hunt begins for the London Bombers. See 7 July 2005 London bombings and 21 July 2005 London bombings

BIRTHS

* 1932 - Oscar De la Renta, Dominican/American fashion designer

* 1954 - Al Di Meola, American guitarist

* 1973 - Daniel Jones, Australian musician

DEATHS

* 1934 - John Dillinger, American bank robber

* 1968 - Giovannino Guareschi, Italian journalist

HOLIDAY

* Saint Mary Magdalene [Paris, Bruges]

Just back from doc's. My hips were hurting like feck when I was wandering round the town with P and I kept buckling over. P wouldn't take no for an answer so she drove me down there for an emergency app.

Valium, again.

It actually felt like there was a nerve trapped in my hip joint socket thingy and my bone was rolling over it. I'm fairly certain none of that was happening, that's just what it felt like.

It was a lovely day though, apart from that. Very sunny and a nice atmosphere in town. Got a £6 nightshirt *bargain, yippee!* cos I've been looking for ages and PJs are too damn dear these days (separates ... £15 for bottoms and £15 for tops ... feck right off!)

Couldn't find a His & Hers calender for me & Mini so bought some thick paper to make my own I'm looking forward to doing that

Anyway, that was my day. Hope yours was good too.

Sweetheart ... where are you?!

Out for coffee again tomorrow.

Last week when we were heading back, we got in the lift to get to the carpark. I stepped in and suddenly remembered a comedian going on about how fun it is to face people instead of assuming the standard position of facing the door.

Since I was with P and she's a wee bit more of an upright citizen than I, in a split second I decided not to, but almost collapsed with the effort of not laughing loudly at the thought.

I covered it by staring at the bloke next to me ... he's not going to return the look and grin ... just DO something! ...

"Ooh Bob Dylan!" *pointing at his new CD*

"you should listen to Infidels, it's brilliant" *half an eye on the undoubtedly Baptist Christians in the back of the lift*

He semi-smiles and backs away, well he would've if he could

I think P was pleased to get to the car

I do hope tomorrow is fun

I just read THIS

How flippin hyper do I sound there?

Is it THIS much?

LINK

highs ...

and lows ...

When I started posting here I had no idea what I'd want to write. I certainly didn't think anyone would read it, but soon became aware that they would ... whether they're just flicking around trying to find summat to read or they tune in regularly.

Sometimes I've veered off my usual subject (me ) and posted stuff I thought other folk would like. I still do that occasionally with the music blog but on the whole I write what I want with no cares if anyone thinks it's dull.

It's a shock to the system when people come on your personal writing space and start giving you grief. You get enough of that 'out there' without someone trying to drag you down here too.

I don't care if you don't like my writing style, what I write about or whatever. That's why people have 'friends lists'. You are someone's friend because you have stuff in common or whatever, not so they can practice their writing critic skills.

Yeah, I (and some others) point out typos or whatever, but that's a standing joke and done in a light-hearted way. All that began with the Eats Shoots and Leaves book.

But. There are some really odd people on here who have at times tried to cause division in an elitist way. Like there's some superior group. Get a grip!

Others send a barrage of comments to wear you down, trying to enforce their opinion on you. Or talk to you in a patronising manner like they're your teacher.

It's fairly obvious if you don't get on with someone, that you should just keep off their blog. It doesn't take a genius to work that one out.

Since I can't block people, I will be leaving comments as 'moderated to all but friends'.

I might accept rude comments depending on my mood. I make no apology for not accepting some comments.

Whilst I have no right to ask anyone to change, I do have the right to limit my exposure to you.

I now have two

Shuttit, Spencer!

Worked out that ... because of the 6 weeks + 1 day thing ... the divorce comes through on our 14th wedding anniversary!

Visual meme

1. What do you do for a living?

2. What would you like to be doing for a living?

3. Where did you go with your parents as a child on holiday?

4. What was a fun holiday activity you have done on your own?

5. What is your present mood?

The workshop was interesting and helpful - glad I went. Came away feeling quite positive, even though the thought of an interview makes my stomach plummet.

Really want to get my bike serviced, to use again. Then I could ...

* Go to the other library to finish my ECDL.

and

* Start the exercise programme. The place they hold it is further than my usual swimming pool so the bike will help there too.

It's sunny today and I know that's helping my mood. Might buy a light box as soon as I can scrape together enough dosh.

Off to do dishes and (yuk) clean cooker ...

Lovely sunny day today

Went into town with P, for the first time in a fortnight. Was good to catch up. Even if it was a tale of chaos (mine) and parent's anniversary party (hers).

Visited 2 different Starbucks we are creatures of habit! Did some window shopping. Not actually buying windows ... CJ!

My back ached the whole time but I was determined not to give in to it.

Told her about the Alexander McCall Smith chapters in the Telegraph Online - thanks Hekkie *hug*, about the lad and his escapades, and how my ex has been a lot nicer to me recently ... not just tongue-in-cheek friends, proper friends.

She reckons I should get an MRI scan to find out what the bone spurs are pressing against. I'm fairly sure nerves are involved. That would explain why my legs buckled the other month.

Aaaaanyway, it was a lovely day, and I managed to get a new lampshade for Mini's bedroom for £2.99 - bargain!

M'off to have baked potato inna minute. See ya later

xxx

As some of you know, I have an account with neopets dot com. I keep it only because I'm totally addicted to DestructoMatch 2. I also click through a list of pages on it getting free stuff and feeding my neopets

I did the fishing thing today and got this ...

It amused me no end.

Yes, I'm a child

Pelvic x-ray = fine
Back x-ray = minor spurs of damage to bone

The Dr is absolutely lovely, my favourite so far. RDW, he's Canadian and lived in Glasgow, so has an interesting accent.

He listened while I explained about the depression, my efforts to train get a job, the divorce and my difficulties with motivation. He offered physio but I said I didn't want to cost the NHS any more with that cos they give me all these exercises and it's hard to keep going, etc.

I explained how my back has been sore since late teens/early twenties and got worse. Explained that it was sore even when I'd lost a considerable amount of weight.

Asked if I could do the Start Up programme to see if it helps. At least it's something more natural and could help depression as well as mobility. He was encouraging about it. It's easier to be motivated when you're doing a programme.

It includes an assessment and 12 weeks of tailored exercise - swimming, rowing, exercise to music and gym work. For what it is ... it's quite cheap. I have a leisure card and will get a reduction because of my low income.

I have something to overcome now. I'm not imagining it. Yes the human brain can be quite twisted. My mum was right

Little bit low today. The money struggling thing is getting to me now. I've not been so skint for ages and this has been at it's worst since May.

I wanted to go to the interview and application workshop in July but missed it cos it was the same weekend my glands swelled up. Missed the August one too (can't remember why) but I'm going to the one on Friday.

I really need to get a job. Not just because I'm skint. Also ... because they will be forcing us from income support to jobseekers allowance soon & fiddling about with the CSA money. Also ... because it's doing my head in, I'm bored to tears. My PC is still fucked up and that's holding up finishing my ECDL.

They (DSS) give you a lump sum if you get a job and last a month (FFS!)

I'll be able to pay off my overdraft, 2 store cards and get rid of VirginMedia (cos it's just too damn expensive) - pay for BT line to be installed

I see the doc tomorrow morning about my x-rays. I fully expect them to have found absolutely feck all.

Can't make a joke - guff, innit?

Bloody serious life

A very long and quite interesting article I found, thanks to Palmblogging and my curiosity.

LINK

I think it's the Decree Nisi tomorrow. I say 'think' cos I'm not entirely sure.

Pathetic huh? My lawyer didn't tell me about it. My ex did.

So in 6 weeks it'll all be over.

Word Association

1. pink ... room
2. shoe ... sale (?)
3. zebra ... crossing
4. school ... run
5. button ... nose
6. kiss ... curl
7. over ... load
8. pool ... party
9. run ... DMC
10. seven ... dwarves
11. dew ... drop
12. apple ... pie
13. building ... site
14. hat ... hair
15. book ... club
16. song ... bird
17. banana ... split
18. plane ... ticket
19. tyre ... pressure
20. light ... switch

I've had tinnitus for ages. For so long that I don't notice it most of the time.

But RIGHT NOW it's frickin bugging me.

eeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeee

Gah!

'They' want a bigger bang.

LINK

Classic quote from TimesOnline comments ...

"My theory is that the universe started when the inhabitants of the previous universe tried to find out how the universe started."

KR, Stockport,

We don't get a choice in anything these days.

This link has been showing up in my gmail for a couple of days now.

I once threatened to do that to a drunken in-law. Said in a jokey way, trying to calm him down. He misunderstood, leaned forward to

Next thing I know ... it's all over town that I snogged him!

Ah the comforting support of family

HERE

Andrew Gosden, now 15, has been missing for a year.

How on earth could any of us cope?

HERE and HERE

A year before he disappeared ...

Wish I'd seen him in his suit, and been there to calm his hair into it's gorgeous curls instead of the party that I know it was having

He is himself, and I love him.

I could never inadvertently manipulate him, in that girly way that appears no matter how much you dig your heels in against it, cos he's most stubbornly himself.

And I love that. He knows me, knows how to stop me fucking it all up.

No-one knows how much he under-estimates himself. He grows from every experience. Proper geek, he is.

No idea what he sees in me

That may be his silliest characteristic. The one warped blind spot

I was racking my brains trying to think what I could do for Mini to take his homework to school. Our printer only works with the PC cos the lappie has Vista on it, and the PC is out of action (still)

CD? Memory stick? Oh, can't do that, the school computers didn't recognise the memory stick last time and he got detention. I don't have re-usable CDs

Fortunately he came back from school today with the teacher's email.

Now, I really hope OpenOffice is compatible with Word *meep*

saw this in gmail links thingy

dunno why, it just made me laugh

Had a bit of a sleepathon and my head's bumpin' now.

oh behave!

Frankie Boyle is on Dave channel just now.

Doing stand-up on Live at the Apollo.

Go. Now.

see more pwn and owned pictures

... what 'find me a find' means

It's my newest tag

Any ideas?

What's with all the British chat? Do folk really think of themselves in terms of Britain?

I've always thought of myself as Scottish, not that I have a problem with England, y'know. It's just that I was ... well ... born in Scotland!

Why does it have to be an issue in the 'media'? It's just to stir up a debate, isn't it?

And to feel better during certain sporting events

I couldn't give a monkeys.

My grandad was all SNP, right enough. Fair dooz (I dunno how to spell that) I've no problem with that, no need for being anti though.

No idea what my point is

waffle waffle

Jings. The rain is bucketing here. Thunder & lightning too!

The wee yin will be somewhere with his dad watching it. I hope they don't drive in it

Incidentally, there has been a lot of bad feeling around blog recently. For my part, I'm very sorry indeed.

Some of it was that 'wanting to fix stuff' thing. And getting shirty about people I care about being hurt. Some of it was my own annoyance about things I just can't understand. At the end of the day it's none of my business.

I'm still learning.

But we're all wibbly wobbling on the wibbly wobbly web

a common story ...