Subville

Codeine only lasted a week. I don't think the doctor gets it, that my back always hurts. I'm over the spasm, which takes a week to unravel, but the 'normal' pain is always there. Fortunately, I found some Co-codamol tucked away in my first aid box (lol) from 2004

I cleaned the cooker the other day. Gave myself a gold star

Have bought the paint and rollers for the downstairs room, gonna get a new paint brush today. Decided to go into town once I've done some food shopping (if I do town first I won't do anything else when I get back).

Paid ALL the bills the other day ... I LOVE doing that. Feels such a release. So I know I can get one of those pillow speakers that Missy was on about in one of her posts. The walls are so thin here that I feel too anxious listening to music as I go to sleep in case I'm being a shit neighbour (I think the one next door does shifts and her bedroom is through the wall from mine), so that will be a relaxing treat. Am having a noisy brain at the moment.

Time to shift the valium makes me sleep for ten hours so everything is later than it usually is (and that's fairly late)

Have a lovely Thursday *wave mote* xxx

Around London at 6pm tomorrow night?

There'll be some fun

7½ years ago my mum died from breast cancer. Needless to say (but I will anyway) it was an emotionally mad time for myself and my bro.

He suggested we write a musical ... Cancer the Musical. Much humour ensued from that conversation. Black humour that can only come from 2 sibling's fucked brains.

Little did we know that someone would actually do that, I mean seriously!

I dunno what my bro makes of it, haven't spoken about it yet.

Shoulda copyrighted it

My polling card came through the letter box.

It has blood on it.

How apt.

Didn't sleep well at all last night. My body was zombied by the painkillers and sleeping tablet but my brain was fully alert. Bizarre. Slept late because of this.

Woken by police woman phoning to tell me that one of the boys totally admitted to what happened to Mini, the other is being well shifty. Because of this we have to decided if we want it to go to the CPS.

Also got a letter from the council about ma boy.

"An incident occurred on 23rd March and they are worried about his emotional well-being"

I looked at the date they were referring to and blanked out the month for some reason. Panic. Phoned them. Oh, it's something I already know about ... phew!

Pleasantly surprised that the lady stayed on the phone sounding genuinely concerned about him. Counselling offered. Through a person who can visit via school or the 2 places she gave me phone numbers for.

Texted ex to let him know we need to talk. He arrived later to collect Mini for the weekend. Decided to cut my grass! Cheers, ears. I made a cuppa. As I stood there watching him I felt a bit guilty. Weeds everywhere. started howking them out. Massive pile till my back couldn't cope. I mar doofus.

Came in to sit down and drink tea. Moved lappie from arm of couch and knocked whole cuppa all over the floor. *weep*

Two minutes later he'd finished, pulled the electric cable back through the window and knocked his cup off the ledge *smash*

Arg.

Was nice to have the bulk of the garden a bit more sorted though, and my living room floor did need a wash.

Jeez!

... but this might help (well, for you lot anyroads)

1. When showering, do you start the water and then get in, or get in then start the water?

Always run it first. We had a temperamental shower when I lived in Mum's house. Never got over that. I don't have a shower now though but I will when me & Andy buy Lottery House

2. Do you read the labels on your shampoo bottle?

No. I buy the same bottle every time (T-Gel), so I know it all off by heart)

3. Do you moan in the shower like the people on the Herbal Essences commercial?

Naah, I save my moaning for blog

4. Have you ever showered with someone of the opposite sex?

Yeah, ages ago.

5. Have you ever been forced to shower with one of your siblings?

No but I used to share a bath with my bro, till I got to be too annoying

6. Have you ever brushed your teeth in the shower?

No

7. Have you ever dropped your soap on your foot?

Oh yes! And other stuff.

8. How old do you look?

Depends who's looking. I think I look about 40 but that mad yokel thinks otherwise

9. How old do you act?

About 27, or 57 and a half.

10. What's the last song you sang?

Obladee obladaa (Gwen's version)

11. Have you recently become a member of anything?

Twitter? And like Nick, Divorced Parents Club

12. What are your plans for the weekend?

Continually checking my bank account for CSA payment. Buying paint.

13. Do you kiss with your eyes open or closed?

Are you suggesting that there are folk who only ever kiss with eyes closed or open? Weirdo ... both.

14. What's the sexiest thing about Condoleeza Rice?

Nothing that I can think of

15. Does anything on your body itch right now?

Just my brain.

16. Who's the sexiest famous woman alive?

Anne Hathaway is gorgeous, and Gwennie.

17. Who's the sexiest famous man alive?

Robert Kazinsky.

18. Does every family have a crazy uncle?

Proberly I don't know my uncles well enough to know, but I reckon Greg is a bit of a nutter.

19. Have you ever smuggled something into your home country?

Where is home? Scotland or England? Can't decide Yes I have. Not sayin' what.

20. Does playing the guitar make a girl/guy more attractive?

Talent of any kind is attractive. Well, maybe not blowing bubbles through yer nose.

21. Do you live in a city with a good sports team?

LOL! I think not.

22. Have you ever finished off the popcorn and ate the junk from the bottom of the bag?

Highly doubtful.

23. Have you ever had sex in a tent?

Yes.

24. What about in a boat?

No.

25. Have you ever dated a Goth?

Er ... no. Goth's are pretty young usually. I'm frickin 40 y'know!

26. Can you fix your own car?

Even if I drove. Or owned a car. No.

27. Are you a beach person or a snowy mountain person?

Always the heat, always. Beach.

28. If money were not a problem, where would you like to live?

Gran Canaria, and USA somewhere, and Canada.

29. Soft bed or firm?

Firm.

30. Last thing received in the mail?

Mini's passport (phew!)

I don't know how effective Codeine is as a painkiller. But it's a frickin great sleeping tablet.

*thud*

Even my shoulders and face are tired.

You shoulda seen the nick of me creeping towards the surgery today

That meme I've seen this morning ... how old do you act? ... 97

My niece (in-law) was there, for some reason I always bump into my ex's rellies at my doctor's. Her daughter is totally gorgeous. Niece gave me a lift back up the hill (phew).

Dropped prescription into chemist and did the food shopping bit. Big mistake. Hobbled back home with heavy shopping bag (div).

I now want to sleep. So I shall

Hurts too much to sit up so I'm off to bed.

Phoned doc's earlier and receptionist said since I have Valium that should tide me over. My doc wasn't there this afternoon so I've to phone tomorrow to see her.

Back has gone completely flat and rigid. Stomach 'muscles' are jelly

2 Valiums didn't do it. I hate this

Totally forgot that P was away this week. Sat ready & waiting till 10.15 then realised

Got taxi to gym and did Pilates. Bloody embarrassing as when I changed position I let out an 'oww' when the acid reflux decided to swish over a sore spot. Peptac doesn't work very well at all.

Did ok with the exercises, well I thought I did. Trainer apologised profusely for being off last week. No need - she was ill!

I coulda got a lift back, some offered. But I had to get socks for Mini, in town. I think he only had about 3 pairs left. Him & ex wear the same kind, I think his mrs put them all in ex's drawer

Told Mini to bring all his washing home, cos I can't keep replacing things.

Bought socks and came home. Now my back is going into spasm and I'm worried.

Gawd, I sound so down. Back pain makes life frustrating. I'm ok really. Tired. I feel like I'm throwing money into a big black hole. All will be well.

This weekend I get CSA payment so will be able to paint what will be Mini's new room

Think I'll toddle off and gub some Valium now before I end up like a plank of wood

Just whinging, no need for sympathy ... I have enough of that for all of us

As you all know, I cannot be arsed with confrontation, arguments, bickering. It happens but I cannot be bothered with it especially if it's just for the sake of it or entirely inappropriate.

As my bro said before, I'm well able to argue till the cows come home. I'm actually good at it I could argue for England Scotland.

These days I just see it as a pointless flexing of ego.

I'm too lazy to compete with other folk in this trivial pursuit. Go back to Uni and see if they'll accept you on the Debate Team (this time)

I wrote a light-hearted post today and the comments made me feel vaguely depressed.

There's only so much negativity you can take during a day, y'know?

Jeez.

That's it decided.

Do you want to upgrade to PRO again when it runs out?

No. There are too many arsehole trolls.

Created by Andy

Sent to Me

Uploaded for Soy

for her general gigglement

About frickin time too

We've been a library-free zone for too damn long

Oh dear, what's all that banging and shouting outside?

*grabs keys on the way out to check*

Oh it's kids playing footie in their garden ... hmm, while I'm out ... better go check that CCTV the neighbour installed and tell him it's illegal to point it outside his property.

*knock knock*

To cut a long story short, I spoke to the man for about an hour. His GF came out to chat too. I now totally understand his plight. The police told him to put the CCTV up because he couldn't give names of the kids that were annoying him.

He had to make a complaint before the police came to do anything about it all. That's why we had the asbo meeting. It's been driving him up the wall. Not just Mini & Co. He lives on a corner, where a few streets meet. Drunks come round that way late at night. Folk are being burgled round here lately too. I apologised profusely for the boys.

I went home, bumped into Mini coming back from his dad's and had a good chat about the bloke's point of view. He looked fairly mortified cos he hadn't seen it from the other guy's view before. When S came round he told the other boys. Mini & his cousin went straight round to the guy and apologised. Soon followed by S and F (not the bloggers!) who apologised too.

Mini told me that F started to argue a bit with a dodgy attitude and he grabbed his shoulders, turned him round and gently told him to shuttit

He said - that guy's all right, y'know ( ) he was talking to us about all sorts and he said thank you for apologising.

A truce

Texted ex and got a reply - Nice one, *subz*

I feel exhilarated

Sorted.

Had a bath. Put swimming costume on instead of underkegs. Plugged headphones into lugs. Took them off. Phoned gym. *ringringringring* for 3 minutes. No answer. Phoned gym again. *ringringringring* for 5 minutes. No answer.

Sigh.

Plugged headphones in again. Bus to town. Other bus to gym. Waited in queueueue while receptionist filed nails and chatted on phone. The frickin AquaFit class is cancelled.

Sigh.

Used changing rooms to get out of cozzie. Bus into town. Hotdog & latte in the sunshine, with Heat!.

Went round all the 'teen shops' that I don't usually do (Dorothy Perkins, TopShop, Accessorise, Gap) looking for socks with less than usual colours. Found some

Looked for a new handbag in those shops too. The stitching on the one I have is 'going'.

Found reduced to clear Ted Baker one eventually. Huge. I've never been one of them that can have a teeny tiny bag, it'd do my head right in. this one could prolly fit a laptop

Anyroads, back now ... and waiting for Mini to appear. I texted him earlier to say when I'd be here but he ignored that and brought all his stuff back and left it at his friend's house. Div. He was supposed to leave it at his dad's and he would drop it off later.

I'll be decorating the front room (downstairs) soon as it's a wasted space right now. All that's in there is my PC and a few bits and pieces. Mini's room upstairs is way too small so I'm gonna put him in the bigger room downstairs. Ex has agreed to help decorate it. Then I'll move his stuff down there and decorate the small room, to use myself for PC, when Mini goes on the school trip. Andy's coming here for that week and we're gonna do that bit together. Really looking forward to it. Will be a laugh and cute.

Wish I hadn't put mustard on that hotdog *rumble gurgle*

*wave* (I hate that mote)

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Slept on the couch last night. The sitting upright bit was guff. Who can sleep like that ... unless they're at work? Slept good anyways.

Y'know how the doc told me to stop Voltarol ... I feel a ton better! It must've been causing so much guff in my stomach. Swelling, irritation and all that. I feel thinner now ... I'm not, but that's besides the point

The bad bit ... all the areas where I had old injuries (my back, ankle, hips, neck) are beginning to make themselves known again.

Fuckit. *fingers crossed for Pilates healingness*

What a difference! The burping is still there but acid burn hasn't happened on the same scale today.

I might even go for another poo. Just to celebrate

Been awake for ages. Up since 5.30.

Lying on yer side makes the acid pool on the gland under yer ear. Dunno if I should do Pilates today, although I want to.

Watching Skellig. Something old-fashioned and comforting about it. I'd love a pair of wings

Andy will get a surprise when he sees I'm up and about

Doctor thinks there's a good chance it's H.pylori too.

To be checked for that, I have to stay off the antacids (well, proton pump inhibitors) for two weeks so they can get a true result.

Gaviscon-type thingy it is, then.

Also have to come off the Voltarol cos it can attack the stomach lining.

Feck.

Pain dread.

Then in two weeks time ... I have to do this natty little trick with a

*look away now if yer squeamish*

scoop, plastic tube and .... my poo

*hurls*

Lovely. Something to look forward to

Dreading lying down for sleep tonight.

Last night I lay on my right side till 3.30 ish, turned over to left side (big mistake) ... had the longest burp I've ever done ... then threw up bile into my mouth

Rushed to bathroom and puked acid till my eyes and neck muscles were wrenched.

Lost 2 hours.

I'd drunk 2 glasses of cool clear water to alleviate the burning, before I crashed. It turned to acid in 3 hours.

Have tried milk etc. No luck.

Emergency app tomoz, I reckon.

Fairly sure they should have looked into the cause of my acid reflux, rather than just hit me with tablets. My guess would be H.Pylori bacteria, which they treated me for two years ago. They didn't do a follow-up to see if it'd cleared. It's notoriously difficult to get rid of as it's resistant to a number of anti-biotics. My dad had it a while back and was on various anti-biotics and probiotics for months.

I had a peptic ulcer when I was frickin 17 from drinking Pernod! I wonder if H.pylori's been there the whole feckin time?

I've just deleted 46 email notifications of comments |

No matter how I try, I can't seem to catch up.

Soz x

Didn't get my acid reflux tablets in time. I've not had any since Friday and it hurts.

It's prescription, please don't suggest Rennies or anything as they don't work.

I've had to stop taking the anti-inflammatories, cos they'll attack my stomach and make it worse. Achey is easier than burny

Frickin div

I caved yesterday too, and bought an egg

Was breakfast

---

Mini's passport is out of date. He needs it for the 1st of June

Ex had it in his safe since they went to India (I think).

Really hope it gets renewed in time. According to the lady at the PO, it should.

Bluddy hell. I thought I moaned a lot and was negative

I should put this on the Ask or Answer group, but I won't.

Every time I see a certain blog on the front page list, I read it. It makes me want to scream and punch walls but for some masochistic reason I have to keep reading it.

I'm being coy about the name, but let's say for ease ... it's written by someone called PW.

My blood pressure is raised every single time but I keep going back for more.

Numpty.

Why?

The wee yin's cousin stayed over last night. How much am I on the edge? Staying awake to suss out if they're plonked downstairs to do summat wrong



Poor kids. I vacate living room, they occupy it. I lie in bed for an hour then tiptoe downstairs and open the door (that's never usually closed but they're being considerate). They are slobbed out, in darkness, watching a film.

---

Ex phoned and invited me for lunch. He'd been checking loads of shops for bunk beds. They need a bunk that has a double on the bottom that folds into a couch during the day. Argos are out of stock. Went to Black Cat. Yum. Then drove to a bed place. No-one does those beds. They're in such demand and the manufacturers can't make them fast enough. The shops gave up stocking them as folk get fed up waiting.



His wife needed a new washing line and as we couldn't get parked, I nipped out to get it from Asda. That was odd. She must be a damn sight more secure than I am



He dropped me home and came back to collect Mini later on.



I felt such a change in stress levels when the door closed. I know he's safe and ex's responsibility for a week so I can relax from worrying!



Tidied his room, I'll clean it tomorrow. Did a huge pile of sewing. Washed the dishes and feel quite happy apart from the egglessness. It was touch and go whether Mini got that Lindt bunny this evening, I can tell you



Am watching 50 First Dates. Is magnificent :>>

I wonder where it came from. My mean streak.

It's like having a split personality. Not a spilt one, as I first wrote.

Grumpy bugger.

Wish I was innocent and nice again.

Yesterday Mini hid a packet of Maryland Cookies from me!

He said it was because I ate a whole packet the night before

A few years ago the roles were reversed

The police guy phoned me back. Says it was a real officer who arrived at the back door. He chased it up and there WAS a robbery in this area at that time and he got the name of the officer.

Well weird.

Told me not to worry, did the right thing etc.

Mini's cousin dropped in, came round the back door, to get his coat. He went back out to join the rest of them. I was making my tea and this bloke appeared at the back door.

Asked questions about 'the boy who was just here'. Said there was a break-in round this way half an hour ago and when he saw Mini's cousin, he thought he didn't seem to 'fit' round here. Said he saw my back door open and thought he'd check.

I had a second look at his badge, he was plain clothes. Do they do this kind of thing? Or have I had a near-miss with a fraudster?

*unsettled*

Must remember that afternoon naps give me chronic headaches for the rest of the evening. Still got a muzzy head. No idea why that happens.

Oh gawd, not the George Clooney episode again

Soz, easily distracted.

Not much to say really.

Hmm

Oh yeah, have to wait till next week till the boy stays with his dad. He's just moved house, since he got married. There are three children there already in a too-small house. He has to buy a bunk-bed and 3 sets of drawers before the wee yin can stay. That'll be 23 days since he stayed with him.

He's staying at his cousin's house tonight. They've become best buds again. His cousin stayed here last weekend for the whole weekend. It's nice when the boy gets invited in return

I need a break.

It's not just the mess, the dishes, the constant tidying. It's the never-ending ... "can I have?" He's eating LOADS just now, and I seem to be feeding other kids too. One turns up on his own at times to use the loo and ask for a drink or to use the phone.

I heard some charity or other is now giving hardship money out to families who can't afford food because of this recession! Hello I'm over here

Ex's contribution was calculated on the fact that we'd arranged at the start he'd be having the wee yin every weekend. Ok I'm not bothered about it being every other weekend now. But. 23 days? *sigh*

I realise this reads like I'm a reluctant mum ... most single parents feel like that at times. It's so much easier when help is regular.

He has helped by phoning though, to check that Mini's behaving himself. He's not a total jerk. I do think he's gonna find it difficult juggling time with Mini and time with his new family. It'll be hard for his new wife too, I expect.

Took down a load of things that were stuck on the kitchen cupboards. They were out-dated and I was only half aware that they were ALL Mini's commendations and merits from school! The thing is, they were from 2005 (the dated ones anyway) I left the pictures, some of them are from year 4 and thereabouts.

It seemed a strange thing to do, given that he needs all the praise he can get with schoolwork, but it also seemed right somehow.

Bussed to aquafit (didn't see MW today - phew!) It was really really good this week. The water was much warmer than the last time and I knew how to move in the water to get maximum benefit this time. It's not as easy as it sounds. One poor woman had to be lowered into the water on a hoist/chair thingy.

Anyway, good day. Bussed back, passed a church emptying itself of wedding folk. Oh. That's how I feel.

Got home, via food shop and started emptying the washing machine (feckin exhausted) Spied a postcard on the side. Hmmm ... on the front there's a picture of an aeroplane (old type) and words ...

History Department.

Blahblahblah School.

*turned it over*

"Just a quick note to let you know that 'Mini' has worked extremely hard this term and this hard work deserves to be recognised by the department. We are extremely pleased with the progress made and hope that this continues in the future."

*signed by teacher*

Gawd, I needed that!

Maybe I had to get rid of the old merits to make room for the new? Sounds scriptural somehow

I've been getting out every day this week and that's cheered me enormously, made me feel like I'm living.

The dogs are amazing, very cheery-uppy.

MW is unsectioned. Yesterday, I nipped into the shop to grab a magazine and lunch, then hopped on the bus. It drove past the shop I'd just been in and she was sitting on a bench outside ... glaring at the patch of road where she'd last seen me. I told someone she had a stare like the Collie-heat-seeking-missile-eyes. They suggested I throw a stick.

Today, I got on the bus to travel into town where I'd get another bus and go to the gym for Pilates. The bus drove about 10 yards and out the window who do I see? Yes. MW. Flippin me the finger. I feel stalked. Probably not ... just that we lived in the same area and she's nowhere else to go.

Son has pretty much decided the bike is his now. I can't afford his bus fair every day so *shrug*. I bought a weekly bus ticket for this week as I'm dog-sitting and gym-going, every day.

Pilates was good. Bussed into town and checked hole-in-the-wall. Fuck. I had forgotten it was the start of the month (direct debits) so had zilch, instead of the money I'd saved to get my haircut

Bussed home, sadly, and phoned to cancel hairdo. They were lovely.

If you think all that is depressing ... it gets better

Unloaded the washing machine. Mini's sheet is ripped right down the middle. This is the second one this month. They come from Ikea. His bed is from Ikea. You have to buy Ikea sheets to fit it.

Sobbed & howled, frightening the old lady next door (her back door was open, eep) Decided to hide under the healing duvet for as long as I could get away with it till Mini got home.

Hormones present and active. Will be fine soon.

Yes, I know it's ex's wedding today. The only thing that upsets me about that, is that I can't even get my frickin hair cut. It's my own fault for being disorganised and undisciplined.