Subville

Child maintenance due on Friday (last week) ... didn't show up

Checked Saturday, no. Sunday, no. Monday, no.

Phoned CSA. They said it wasn't paid to them! Ex has no idea why bank didn't pay.

I've had enough of this. Gonna do a direct debit every month.

He says he'll phone them tomorrow and drop the full amount to me tomorrow at lunchtime. Phew!

Many people fight for a piece of that

Tired.

Tired of everything. Wish my pain relief was sorted out. I don't want to be on valium and codeine every 5 weeks.

Oh yeah, and I think I'm going mad. For ages I thought I had 2 different personalities. Fairly sure I'm not schizophrenic though.

Puzzled. Life is weird and brains are weirder.

My lifestyle is not normal. Why would anyone want a part of that? Run. Far, far away.

I tagged a post by La Spice. It was a delightful picture of 2 wee boys, one brown and one white. "Ebony & Ivory" with some lyrics typed underneath it. I can't remember if the lyrics were from ebony & ivory or black & white, whichever. The reason I tagged it was because I found the added lyrics so damn twee.

The tag was NOT racist How could "omg" be construed as racist?

It was tagged flippantly, without much thought or nastiness!

Delete me as you wish!

I didn't mean any harm, it was cowardly though.

Still amused by the 'afterwards' post though. Wish it was left undeleted.

... today. Which is weird as the night before I didn't sleep much at all and I'd had valium for my back. Last night I decided not to have any :))

So. Odd dreams. Awake/asleep dreams. Remember someone was going on about doing a Blog Guys calendar? Well ...

I dreamt that we did the blog guys calendar but it was a different nob for each month. I called it 'Blog Meat'.

Whoever could guess which nob belonged to which blogger would win a prize.

The prize was ... the rest of blog kicking their head in 

I wasn't gonna blog this but someone thought yooz would get a good giggle out of it *snitter*

1. What is your earliest memory of Michael Jackson??

I vaguely remember The Jackson Five when I was little. I wasn't all that impressed with the dancing in a line thingy. I liked their stuff since then though. Wish he'd not changed himself

2. Do you have a most favourite Michael Jackson song?

Man In The Mirror.

3. Could the boy dance or could he dance??

He could dance but I prefer JT and the likes, to be honest.

4. Have you ever been lucky enough to see MJ or the Jackson 5 in concert?

I have not.

5. How cool would it be to have your very own Never Never Land all in the back garden of your house?

I'd love to have an adult-sized specially built theme park of my very own. You'd all be invited every weekend for continuous blog meets

oscillating fan

I kinda love you

Very patchy sleep last night. The pain killers hadn't built up enough in my system to block it, and the relaxant just didn't.

In spite of that, I feel massively better (mentally) today and a little bit better (physically). I think that's more to do with the 'hormones dying down a bit'

I've often wondered if a hysterectomy would help. But going through 'the change' brings its own emotional dramas

At the moment, I feel like I've had a monsterectomy. I'm gonna go with the "yay! freedon" rather than the guilt

Had to get a new kettle as The Biggest Kettle in Blogland™ is leaking, and water & electricity are a bit worrying.

Went to Starbucks and sat outside for a couple. Beautiful day, cool breeze where we sat.

That was as much as I could manage today but hopefully I'll be back to normal soon.

M'off ... it's soap time xxx

Agony. Back in spasm again.

Did the dog-sitting thing. Lovely. Bouncy doggies, full of slurp.

Ex collected me and the lad from doggie house (it's near his school) and took us to the presentation.

Mayor there, police folk and council dudes. They got to know the kids a lot better on that week. 2 of the police went for a couple of days to join them. Mini got a First Aid cert., climbing cert. and a canoeing cert. Lots more activities during the summer. Woo!

One of the male youth leaders pal'd up with ma boy and has burned a CD full of instrumental hiphop and grunge. They have open mic sessions at a place nearby. That suits his wee group of pals, they reckon to be the next generation of Eminems

♪ "My mom loved Valium, and lots of drugs ..." ♪

*gubbin one*

I signed into my mail account to be greeted by this ...

... it bloody wasn't.

enjoyable

blog

I found it cos a friend of mine follows this on Twitter.

See story two posts down for similar to this

I don't like this any more than you do

Hate the paranoia and insecurity stuff, it's grips like a vice. All sensibilities are oot the windae.

Wish there was a pill for it.

Issues spring up from whence they were buried. Vulnerable, much. Stoopid me.

---

Apparently the lad went out looking for MW the other night, after her singing and shouting at me. Took two friends with him. She was still on the bench.

"Why d'you keep screaming at my mum?"

*can in hand* "I'd never hurt your mum, I'd guard her wiff moi loife I would, guard her wiff moi loife ... hit me if ya like, I'd never do anything to ... blahblah" (in a weird accent)

Bizarre.

---

He went to a (supposed) BBQ on one of the parks. A school friend's birthday. Was delivered back to me at 8.30 by one of the girls mums.

He hands me an empty plastic bag, falls into my arms.

Frosty Jack, scrumpy. Nothing to eat all day

He's doesn't plan to do this again. Result.

I knew he'd forget his bedroom was downstairs

I couldn't relax till he'd stopped falling downstairs and puking gone to sleep in a safe position.

He had to go to his dad's the next day

I LIKE being a liberal parent. There are pros & cons to every style. He shows a maturity that surprises me at times. After him confessing to smoking for 3 months when I didn't know ... he told me the other week that he'd stopped for 6 days. I didn't guilt him and moan, it didn't work for me. He chose not to do it himself. I have every hope that he'll be able to do this with most things that come his way. You can't ask for much more from yer child ... self-regulation is a good start.

---

Am doggie-sitting tomorrow, then off to the youth project thingy for his presentation. The kids got some certificates while they were on that activity holiday. Woo!

(I’m working in the customer service area when a woman approaches me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, we are late for the movie…”

Me: “Okay, would you like to wait for the next show or get a refund?”

Customer: “No. Could you please rewind the movie back to the beginning?”

Me: “…rewind the movie?”

Customer: “Yes, you know…PUSH rewind so we can see it from the beginning.”

Me: “Uh ma’am, these aren’t like VCRs or DVD players…these are huge projectors that can’t be rewound. Besides that, there are already other people in the theatre. All I can do is give you tickets for the next show or a refund.”

Customer: *exasperated* “NEVER MIND!”

From ... (The Customer is) Not Always Right.

Emotional day for many.

♥

Thinking about making this more journal-like, less interactive.

It is a journal after all.

More shit from Mad Woman.

Walked to P.O. to post dad's present, spotted her on the bench across the road. Kept my head down. Had to cross to the chemist, tried to do it without going to the crossing, so I wouldn't have to pass her but the traffic wouldn't let up.

Over at the crossing, passed her, two older men on bench chatting to her. Came back out chemist, walked past behind her *something shouted at me*

*threw it a deefie*

Into Co-op and got stuff. Out again and waited at crossing to continue home. Wow! Not much abuse today.

Once I crossed the road ... *shouting and singing something at me*

Refused to turn round. I think my ex was right on that point ... don't let the cunts see they've got to you.

A workable solution would be if she was banned from this area. It's where she targets all her ex friends. Really doubt the police would do that though.

I suppose I'll have to look into getting an exchange.

Squashing anger down doesn't work.

Anger is, contrary to popular opinion, a neutral emotion.

We all have our ways of dealing with it, some punch people, some drink, some bitch, some lecture, some cut, some puke, some starve, some write, some ... blah blah blah. These, apart from the last one named, would be considered 'negative' directions for dealing with anger.

We all have a right to let it out and we choose our method by what is familiar to us, what we can cope with at any given time.

Stifled emotion can cause all kinds of illnesses and/or personality disorders. I won't list them.

It doesn't deplete your brain cells though. You may know very well all the things you have to do to stop those anger triggers ... I could list those here too, I won't ... but there are often a few different reasons as to why you can't reach that goal yet.

None of these reasons can be controlled by force. Being able to deal with things that cause stress/anger/etc. is a natural progression. The best way to begin is by practising with SAFE people.

A safe person may be unsafe for one but safe for another, depending on either's character. We all have our Achilles Heel after all. If you have no safe people the process will take much longer.

It may feel like you'll never be able to tell that annoying 'friend' that you don't like novelty teapots and they're totally cluttering up your kitchen, or that they completely overstepped the line when they choose your meal for you every time you go out. It may even be something as simple as asking someone what they meant as something they said made you feel uncomfortable.

I could go on and on and on about this, and maybe I will in comments.

But I need to go to the shop, so you'll have to leave while I get ready.

Is that ok?

Kissed any one of your blog friends? Yes, just the one

Been arrested? Yes

Kissed someone you didn't like? Yes

Slept in until 5 PM? Yes

Fallen asleep at work/school? Yes

Held a snake? No

Ran a red light? No

Been suspended from school? Yes

Experienced love at first sight? No

Totalled your car in an accident? No

Been fired from a job? Yes

Fired somebody? No

Sang karaoke? Yes

Pointed a gun at someone? Yes

Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes

Laughed until something you were drinking or eating came out your nose? Yes

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes

Had a close brush with death? Yes

Played spin-the-bottle? No

Sang in the shower? Yes

Smoked a cigar? No

Sat on a rooftop? Yes

Smuggled something into another country? Does Scotland to England count? (Yes)

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? No

Broken a bone? Yes, several

Skipped school? Oh yes

Sleepwalked? No

Walked a moonlit beach? Yes

Rode a motorcycle? Yes

Dumped someone? Yes

Forgotten your anniversary? Yes

Lied to avoid a ticket? No

Ridden on a helicopter? No

Shaved your head? Yes, twice

Played a prank on someone? Yes

Hit a home run? No

Felt like killing someone? Yes

Cross-dressed? No

Been falling-down drunk? Oh yes

Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? Yes

Eaten snake? No

Marched/Protested? Yes

Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? No

Puked on amusement ride? No

Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? Probably

Been in a band? No

Knitted? Yes

Been on TV? Yes

Shot a gun? No

Skinny-dipped? No

Gave someone stitches? No

Eaten a whole habenero pepper? No

Ridden a surfboard? No

Drank straight from a liquor bottle? Yes

Had surgery? Yes

Streaked? No

Taken by ambulance to hospital? Yes

Tripped on mushrooms? Oh yes

Passed out when not drinking? No

Peed on a bush? Yes

Donated Blood? Yes

Grabbed electric fence? No

Eaten alligator meat? No

Eaten your kids' Halloween candy? Yes

Killed an animal when not hunting? No

Peed your pants in public? No

Written graffiti? Yes

Still love someone you shouldn't? No

Think about the future? Yes

Been in handcuffs? Yes

Believe in love? Yes

Sleep on a certain side of the bed? At the moment, yes. It changes.

I forgot about not being allowed to feel angry.

It's caught up with me.

Don't think it'll last eons.

Did town. Bought chopping board. Bought present. Bought blister plasters.

Pilates tomorrow. Bus.

Taking boy to town after school to buy smarter top for birthday party on Friday. Posh friends

Latte day on Thursday.

Sorted.

Hmmm

I just wanted to draw folk's attention to this as a point of interest.

Noisy buggers

I wondered what all the kerfuffle was last night. I predict more nights like this for a couple of weeks.

Bah humbug

Much as I hate to bore you with weather reports ...

Thunder and massive hailstones!

Blimey!

No signal on my TV

They're a bit slow going on about the pregnant woman in Paisley who died of swine flu. It was a fortnight ago!

I hope her wee yin survives.

EDIT ... the baby was born prematurely 2 weeks ago. I'm clearly a div. x

Injustices

I read a blog the other day that was about washable 'feminine hygiene products'. It didn't appeal to me at all, but the comment by a lovely friend did. So I sent off for one of these.

It arrived yesterday, most efficient (2 days later)

£19.99, free delivery. Will save me ££££s. I wish I'd been braver a bit sooner.

I'll let you know what I think about it in time.

Go on, be brave about summat

All this missing pilates business is really not helping my achiness. I noticed it today when I walked to the gym for AquaFit.

Must get more disciplined, get out in time for buses on a Wednesday.

Frickin exhausted now. Usually I can cope with the walk there and back since it's only once per week ... in the afternoon when my muscles have woken.

Starving when I got back so ate a family-sized bag of fruit gums I can't face making my tea now *doofus*

Will I stay awake for all the soapy goodness and comedy tonight?

*slump*

Bit bored. It's manky outside and I've no energy.

Friend slept in this morning and I had too many thoughts to even contemplate walking/bussing to Pilates. On these sort of days I'll only move through guilt. If someone had been counting on me ...

The bath is run, but I was multi-tasking and it's too hot to get in yet.

Am sinking a little bit. Bad weather, pain, thinking I've done stuff wrong ... the usual then. It won't last long. I hope.

Tasks:
* Hoover
* Dust
* Sort through files
* Wash bathroom & kitchen floors
* Put Mini's washed curtain back up
* Count minutes till mood lifts
* Count blessings

*numpty*

It's via Omid Djalili ...

So a Jewish kid goes up to his dad and asks "Dad, can I have 50p?"

His dad goes "30p? What you want 20p for?

I ain't got 10p!

Here's 5p, share it with your sister!"

You've prolly heard it before but it had me in stitches

We had an excellent week and he went home yesterday. He'll be back next month for a fortnight! Woohoo!

Sleeping, I only whacked him a few times. No bruises.

That's all yer getting

I love my new room, the colours are calming and match (almost) everything. Is so much nicer to decorate in loving company We'z a team.

We turned Mini's old wardrobe into a store cupboard. Took the doors off, moved the basket shelves, put the printer and scanner in the base of it, etc. I'll make a curtain for the front at some point. It's a light-coloured Ikea wardrobe that someone from church gave me years ago and still looks newish enough.

I need to get curtains as the blue ones with space ships (I know, Mini needed new ones yonks ago) don't quite 'go'. It's a relaxing room to sit in when the summer sun is flooding the back of the house. Unfortunately, it's been rainy and damp for the past couple of days and my hip is gypping me quite a bit (bath soon).

Spent last night shifting paperwork and tapes (!) around, trying to find that 'place for everything'. This will go on for a while.

Then ... I'll have to tackle all the manky housework I've been ignoring for months. Mibbe.

Mini had an excellent time in Belgium/Holland. Lots of photos of him on Facebook with his buddies, and a couple of girls. No, not like that lol. Well, he'd like it to be like that but is content to work on it be friends. Slightly disappointed with the ... tub of marshmallows ... he brought back for me, and aggressively eyeing the Belgian chocolate he brought his dad House full of teens since he returned. *ear plugs* ... *nose plugs* ... *eye mask and valium*

Ooh shit ... better wrap this up ... there's a post waiting for me

xxxx

... BCUK TEAM.

For adjusting blog so that when you click on 'more New Posts From My Friends' you go to the 2nd page.

Most convenient xxx

Perfect.

It was glorious yesterday. Wandered in town, enjoying the rare warmth. Frickin knackered when we got back. Couldn't find decent folding chairs to sit out the back so (Nick, pay attention) I dragged the giant leather beanbag out there. It fits TWO of us! The most comfortable sun lounger EVER!

So that's that sorted

Not sunny today so we went for paint, 2 shades to do alternate walls. Did the first coat on the first 2 walls and it's looking good.

We'll do the other 2 walls tomorrow afternoon ...

*happy*

Diddit!

Chest of drawers am done

That's the web pic, but mine looks the same and I can't be arsed finding my bluetooth thingy xx

Saw Dr. Told her about possible contact from DSS about the Employment Support Allowance thingy.

I can take lower level anti-inflammatories and paracetamol long term. As long as I take the omeprazole too.

She took my blood pressure, so I had to tell the moving furniture story or she'd think I'd been hitting up or been hit cos the bruises are still visible.

I slept in Mini's bed last night (he wasn't in it!) to see how comfortable it is, it's ok. Wanted to see what it was like for noise in that room anyway. There's a pilot light behind the gas fire ... that's a bit annoying, but if he uses the radio for a while to get to sleep that'll help.

Waffle waffle

Haven't heard from the gorgeous one yet, no doubt he'll phone me when he gets to London. 11 hours to go.

Lunchtime ... I'll be collecting a flat-packed chest of drawers for Mini's room, and a power surge socket. Not sure if I'll start building the drawers right away, although I've built stuff like that before. I AM ABLE! Woohoo!